The theoretical foundations, structure and techniques of Neurodynamic Couples Therapy provide built-in motivators that enhance a couple’s desire to stay in treatment. Those primary motivators are hope, respect and mutual understanding.
It has been said almost too many times that treating couples is very hard work. But, so what. Most couple therapists aren’t afraid of hard work. What they don’t like is working too hard and feeling like they are getting nowhere. It is very difficult to stay motivated that way.
Throughout my career, I have been drawn to opportunities that blend leadership with service. As a Public Health Service Officer and Licensed Clinical Social Worker, my commitment has always been to serve where the need is greatest. Whether during deployments addressing humanitarian crises or through research focused on homeless veterans, I’ve seen firsthand the difference compassionate leadership makes.
Fleeing treatment is an understandable wish. Effective Neurodynamic Couples Therapy is often frightening and painful–sometimes horribly painful. Metabolizing historical feelings requires that they be relived precisely as intensely as they were originally experienced when first stored, along with the perceived sense of danger that was present in the original experience. It makes sense to be scared of this process, so addressing the wish to flee should be seen as a normal part of the treatment.
There is no doubt that treating couples is often quite difficult. This is a primary reason that many therapists decide to not treat couples at all. In fact, statistics say that the rate of failure for couple therapy is higher than for individual therapy.
What do prospective clients look for when seeking a new therapist? Credentials, education level, years of experience, and specialization are all important. But what about languages spoken, ethnicity, gender, clinician’s age, or their preferred pronouns?
Frequently in my consultation groups, I hear from therapists, “They just aren’t getting it.” They are referring to the couples they are treating who feel particularly frustrating to the therapist. “We’ve talked about the same things over and over again, and nothing is changing,” exclaims the exasperated therapist.
Men's health month is recognized in June of each year. This health awareness observance brings attention to a range of well-being concerns affecting men and encourages self-care along with preventive health visits. Well-being is an experience of health, happiness and prosperity. It is holistic and consists of many domains including physical, mental, spiritual, and social. These can impact the total health of men and illnesses unique to them such as prostate cancer.
Some forms of couple therapy have emphasized the importance of helping couples differentiate–helping them see each other as two separate individuals, instead of succumbing to a type of “twinning” where only alikeness is tolerated. There are certainly benefits to helping couples resist the draw to substitute being alike for being close. However, ignoring the nonconscious “sameness” of intimate partners is also missing an opportunity to make use of the right-brain natural attraction of similars in service of healing.
