Fleeing treatment is an understandable wish.  Effective Neurodynamic Couples Therapy is often frightening and painful–sometimes horribly painful.  Metabolizing historical feelings requires that they be relived precisely as intensely as they were originally experienced when first stored, along with the perceived sense of danger that was present in the original experience.  It makes sense to be scared of this process, so addressing the wish to flee should be seen as a normal part of the treatment.

There is no doubt that treating couples is often quite difficult.  This is a primary reason that many therapists decide to not treat couples at all.  In fact, statistics say that the rate of failure for couple therapy is higher than for individual therapy.

What do prospective clients look for when seeking a new therapist? Credentials, education level, years of experience, and specialization are all important. But what about languages spoken, ethnicity, gender, clinician’s age, or their preferred pronouns?

Frequently in my consultation groups, I hear from therapists, “They just aren’t getting it.”  They are referring to the couples they are treating who feel particularly frustrating to the therapist.  “We’ve talked about the same things over and over again, and nothing is changing,” exclaims the exasperated therapist.

Men's health month is recognized in June of each year. This health awareness observance brings attention to a range of well-being concerns affecting men and encourages self-care along with preventive health visits. Well-being is an experience of health, happiness and prosperity. It is holistic and consists of many domains including physical, mental, spiritual, and social. These can impact the total health of men and illnesses unique to them such as prostate cancer.

Some forms of couple therapy have emphasized the importance of helping couples differentiate–helping them see each other as two separate individuals, instead of succumbing to a type of “twinning” where only alikeness is tolerated.  There are certainly benefits to helping couples resist the draw to substitute being alike for being close.  However, ignoring the nonconscious “sameness” of intimate partners is also missing an opportunity to make use of the right-brain natural attraction of similars in service of healing.